December 31, 2012 by malaikakerr
How can this seem like yesterday, and a lifetime ago at the same time?
Clee started driving. Life guarding in the summer. Faced major surgery, twice.
He graduated from high school.
Reed and I, from college.
Mom bought a car. We’ve bought two. Three? We’re hard on cars, I guess. Sorry I didn’t pay more attention, I know there was a lot I could have learned from you.
Mom’s married. Moved to a new church, closer to home.
We’ve moved. Twice. So strange to live somewhere you never stepped foot in.
I’ve had a baby. Another baby. Waiting on a third. I think they’re the hardest, where I feel the most loss.
I’ve grown, thank the Lord.
Wished I could go back, explain that I was young and foolish and ask for forgiveness. Apologize for all the times I was selfish and rude. Most adults who survive your teenage years are able to watch you mature. I’m left knowing that the “me” you knew isn’t the me of today. So thankful for God’s grace.
My heart catches in my throat each time Abel spots a cool looking car.
“Look at THAT ONE, Mama!”
He didn’t get that from his daddy.
“While we miss him, terribly, we miss him out of selfishness. We miss him for our own sakes, as a father and husband. But we know that while he was living, he was in constant pain, particularly struggling this last weekend. We also know that he is in Heaven now, in the company of our Savior, and the pain he experienced here pales in comparison to the life he is living now. My family is far happier that he is pain free, enjoying the glory of God in heaven, than sad because we miss him. 1 Thessalonians 4:13 says “Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope.”
Thanks be to God who gives us hope! By believing in the life, death, and resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ, Mike has entered into eternal glory. I know that one day I will be joining him, because Christ is my savior as well. This world is so temporary, and that fact was really brought to my attention this weekend. If we are not living to bring praises to God, then what is the point?
Death is not the exception, life is. Thank you God, for giving us life, and I pray that we will live it for You.”